Roar, man it's been a while since I've posted here. Sorry about that folks, life's been rather... well life.
NaNoWriMo went rather well, but writing so much in such little time is such a drain me. there were times I spend a few hours cranking out thousands of words and leave the moment feeling so empty as if I'd poured all that I was in there, which of course is good for writing but bad when you're then mentally exhausted and needing to drive home lol.
This time of year, churches are usually going about getting ready for the best birthday of all, our Lord Jesus Christ. I even volunteered to help with the production of my own church's Christmas Celebration services as the main camera man (w00!). You'd think that my Sunday school would be around the same topic as that...
Not quite.
Since September we've been going over Simon Peter before his ministry began, and here's a few things I've observed since then:
- Even though Christ know you're going to fall, He's still looking out for you
- You will fall, but its your responsibility to stand up and continue walking forward, He will you strength and grace to do so
- /When/ you arise and return to Him, He wants you to go and strengthen your bothers and sisters,
This is where we find our task to have a testimony of our walk with Christ, or at least a great example of it.
- Satan will try and shift you, to separate you, but Christ will use it to rid you of unnecessary things so that He may replace it with something greater.
-Peter is still a world in progress, which I've always loved to read considering what he's to become in the later books.
- He meets Peter where he denied him and with each question addresses the issues with Peter's heart.
- We don't need to worry about our fellow Christians in the sense of wondering why we aren't doing the same things they would be...whether it's missions, ministry, charity, etc. We follow Him out of our love for Him.
-Christ looks forward, not backwards
When we mess up, we need to first humble ourselves before God. While humility is something we generally do not like, it allows god to lift us up for His glory as well as helps us to realize His sovereignty. We must also cast all our fears and anxieties on him -- for, what is there that we can worry about that He cannot help us with? Always be vigilant against attacks and snares, stand firm, know that you are not alone in your suffering. Call upon your brethren to watch your back. Above all remember the promise that God is watching over you and has called you through your sufferings to restore you. There is nothing we go through that God cannot use, He doesn't waste experiences.
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The last two classes were the most powerful of the previous, at least in my opinion. We covered Ephesians 3:16-21
16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (NKJV)
Within each Christian there is the power that is the Holy Spirit that comes to us on through our acceptance of Christ. This spirit guides us, teaches us, disciplines us, so that Christ may dwell in us so that we have a firm rooting in His love. This power we receive from all of that is given to us to understand the vastness (How wide.. how high... how long.. and how deep) the love of Christ is. He has done so much for us, even so far as setting things in motion so that when the moment of our need comes, the blessings come right on time.
When we pray, the foundation of that prayer needs to be the love of Christ. When the verse about understanding the love of Christ. We were told in class that the originally translation was to apprehend, to lay hold of the understand of how much Christ loves us, and take it and make it our own. The wonderful thing about this is that it's not restricted to certain Christians, but to all saints.
To think, all the things God gives us-- so much power through Him, all to apprehend how much He loves us.
...Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13b). I've always loved 1 Corinthians 13, but after last Sunday night I've received a new appreciation for the passage.
Towards the end of the message, our teacher gives us another Billustration of a childhood Christmases and the parents would give gifts layered above each other in a single package. He would get the first box and be happy,then is surprised when his parents prompt him to keep digging. He does so and finds another present better than the first and is excited and overjoyed, but is prompted to dig deeper. He's surprised but does so and finds what the parents were so excited to give him and he becomes overfilled with love and joy.
That, is one if not the best illustration of what is to become saved. Yes, there is eternal life and that's amazing, but there is so much more beyond that and we have to keep digging under the layers to find the power, and the love that Christ has for us.
It was love that brought Christ into the world in order to save it, for a perfect man to die so that the imperfect may be cleansed. It is love that causes parents to go out of their way to protect and lift up their children. It is love, and the greatest of love that allows one to lay down their life for another.
Love, is the greatest thing to have and more so to give. His love, is the greatest of all.
Merry Christmas :) And a wonderful new year.
John.
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Paradigm verses for 12/11/2011
Ephesians 3:17-21
1 Corinthians 13:13
Colossians 2:9-10
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Side note:
Another topic that we've been going over is prayer. I need to better myself in that portion of my spiritual walk, and I was hope those who come across this to pray for me that I will gather the will power to not only pray more often, but to pray for things that go beyond the scope of "me". Also, if you'd like for me to pray for something, I'd be honored to. Already since last week, some amazing things have happened from it, but that's something for another conversation :) Thank you all!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I'm awake, mostly
Oh how I long to hit the snooze button though.
Father, I am not a morning person, but thank you for letting me see the sun rise again.
I realize that I haven't been writing here much as of late. I never wrote much about MetroLive though I'd hope I would, nor of the events since then. My spiritual life takes a step forward from time to time, though right now I don't have the time to go into specifics. I did get a temp job though working for an auditor so that's been eating a lot of my time, but more my energy and mentality. I come home with my brain exhausted and only a two hour nap could revitalize me it seems. I am thankful for it though.
This month marks NaNoWriMo, a month of writing 50k words in 30 days. So far I have a small percentage, but it is only day two. I can only pray I can see this to the end and complete my novel project this year if not just get extremely close to it.
Father, you are good when nothing else is, and after the laments I've had as of late, I'm glad you're still by my side.
Father, I am not a morning person, but thank you for letting me see the sun rise again.
I realize that I haven't been writing here much as of late. I never wrote much about MetroLive though I'd hope I would, nor of the events since then. My spiritual life takes a step forward from time to time, though right now I don't have the time to go into specifics. I did get a temp job though working for an auditor so that's been eating a lot of my time, but more my energy and mentality. I come home with my brain exhausted and only a two hour nap could revitalize me it seems. I am thankful for it though.
This month marks NaNoWriMo, a month of writing 50k words in 30 days. So far I have a small percentage, but it is only day two. I can only pray I can see this to the end and complete my novel project this year if not just get extremely close to it.
Father, you are good when nothing else is, and after the laments I've had as of late, I'm glad you're still by my side.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Out of the blue
How often do I find myself wishing to say it is well with my soul, then realizing that my soul is well because I am saved, it is just my heart that aches.
Even then, how often do I find myself searching for healing for those aches when I already know where it is I need to turn to?
Am I mired down by guilt, by shame, by regret to lift my eyes, hands and hearts to that healer? At times yes, and at times I will again soon, that is just how it is being human.
I am glad though, because it helps me to appreciate that the healing, blessings and gifts are something that cannot be bought by my works and deeds, but are given as gifts though my relationship with Christ.
I will arise, I will walk, I will run and I will at stumble...
but at least when I fall, I know I am not alone, and that there is someone there to lift me up and travel with me.
A depth I can never phantom, an embrace that never tires, and a strength beyond the weights of this world.
Lord, I can only pray and try to rely on you with more and more of my life until it is all given to you. I know I am slow at this and I am sorry, I need help with removing myself from the easel and yet you work without my input, my worries, my complaints. I want to know you, to understand you as best as I possibly can, but above all I want to learn to trust you more and more with the passing days you've allotted me.
It still hurts, from those years past to the few months that past, yet I am able to continue walking with your hand on my shoulders to help me press forward. I've grieved and I still shed tears, but you continue to give me reason to wipe my eyes and to allow a smile to creep out to my lips. Even though I wail in secret, your praise is never fair from my broken voice.
I give my praise to you now and forever on, break me to the point where you can use me in both body and spirit. Help me to learn to let go of what I hold dear and to hold onto you.
Amen
Even then, how often do I find myself searching for healing for those aches when I already know where it is I need to turn to?
Am I mired down by guilt, by shame, by regret to lift my eyes, hands and hearts to that healer? At times yes, and at times I will again soon, that is just how it is being human.
I am glad though, because it helps me to appreciate that the healing, blessings and gifts are something that cannot be bought by my works and deeds, but are given as gifts though my relationship with Christ.
I will arise, I will walk, I will run and I will at stumble...
but at least when I fall, I know I am not alone, and that there is someone there to lift me up and travel with me.
A depth I can never phantom, an embrace that never tires, and a strength beyond the weights of this world.
Lord, I can only pray and try to rely on you with more and more of my life until it is all given to you. I know I am slow at this and I am sorry, I need help with removing myself from the easel and yet you work without my input, my worries, my complaints. I want to know you, to understand you as best as I possibly can, but above all I want to learn to trust you more and more with the passing days you've allotted me.
It still hurts, from those years past to the few months that past, yet I am able to continue walking with your hand on my shoulders to help me press forward. I've grieved and I still shed tears, but you continue to give me reason to wipe my eyes and to allow a smile to creep out to my lips. Even though I wail in secret, your praise is never fair from my broken voice.
I give my praise to you now and forever on, break me to the point where you can use me in both body and spirit. Help me to learn to let go of what I hold dear and to hold onto you.
Amen
Monday, July 18, 2011
It's only been a month...
... to the day since I received a call telling me that she died. Since then the nights have gone quiet to the point where ears cry out waiting for sound. But the playlists, no beeps from a computer or living creature fulfill its want of that familiar voice.
My inks have dried and caked, my quills feel broken, my papers can't even hold onto a single tear.
How I miss you
Though I am glad
That you're someplace better than here
I just wish
That I was able to say good bye
I would've sacrificed the night for just a simple phone call
For just a simple hello
With one last farewell.
Father hold me
As my heart soaks up my tears
Let this small joy grow
So that it can drown out these broken nights
My inks have dried and caked, my quills feel broken, my papers can't even hold onto a single tear.
How I miss you
Though I am glad
That you're someplace better than here
I just wish
That I was able to say good bye
I would've sacrificed the night for just a simple phone call
For just a simple hello
With one last farewell.
Father hold me
As my heart soaks up my tears
Let this small joy grow
So that it can drown out these broken nights
A toast for such a great friend
Who was and always will be one of the best I'll ever know
Though small amongst the earth, a giant among hearts
Until we meet once more.
Who was and always will be one of the best I'll ever know
Though small amongst the earth, a giant among hearts
Until we meet once more.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Thoughts of dreams of thoughts - Prayer request
[This blog post has been in writing process since July 7th.]
"Pray for your dreams." Four wise words from a dear friend of mine who'd just recently gotten married a month ago. It was something that she would say at the end of near every conversation we had as we were both night owls and that was when we often talked. Back then I was having trouble going to bed and staying asleep, too much on my mind and too many thoughts to just release myself to slumber.
To my readers I pose this question: Do you feel that your dreams reveal a portion of your inner self, the self that is buried under years of conditioned behavior and what is often felt as lost child like aspect of emotional expressions? Or do you feel that it's just your mind replaying random events. What about lucid dreaming, could you indeed pull an inception movie trick and create your own dreams like an artist?
For my own answer, I can't go fully into one camp or another as I've had both set of dreams (The Simpsons developing a time machine out of a sphere containing a thousand or so marbles, I mean really), but as my friend suggested, praying for your dreams whether conscious or unconscious, is a healthy part of maintaining one's mentality.
I'd recently picked up a book for writing research entitled Breathing Life into Your Character by Dr. Rachel Ballon, PhD. Every so pages it gives out an exercise, one of them being to record one's dreams as a means to see what your mind thinks of unhindered.
Interesting idea...though as of late when recording my dreams, I wonder just how my heart is burying my mind and visa versa on different topics. I dunno, it's been rather eye opening. Grant you, I'm not putting full stock into what my dreams are, though I can't help but ponder about the subject of the dream, the people in them, and how home hitting they are.
For now, I'll continue to write them down as they come to me, while at the same time beginning to once again take my friend's advice and pray for and about the dreams I've been having these past few nights.
I'm sorry that this wasn't so much of a spiritual type post, it's just something I needed to get out of my systems these past few days.
On a side note. I was wondering if you guys can pray for my father. He's on vacation these past two weeks, but he's been more stressed now that whenever he was working. So much so that, as I was told this morning, last night he was backing out into a parking lot, drove the car into another and proceeded to continue without noticing, raising the smaller car behind them up into the air while my mother, my older brother and his wife and kids watched trying to tell him to stop. I must admit, this has scared me as it's extremely rare to see him so stressed out. We're doing what we can to ease his stress, but his personality type limits what we can do without causing him more stress and frustration. We're making a little headway though, I hope and pray things will change for the better soon.
"Pray for your dreams." Four wise words from a dear friend of mine who'd just recently gotten married a month ago. It was something that she would say at the end of near every conversation we had as we were both night owls and that was when we often talked. Back then I was having trouble going to bed and staying asleep, too much on my mind and too many thoughts to just release myself to slumber.
To my readers I pose this question: Do you feel that your dreams reveal a portion of your inner self, the self that is buried under years of conditioned behavior and what is often felt as lost child like aspect of emotional expressions? Or do you feel that it's just your mind replaying random events. What about lucid dreaming, could you indeed pull an inception movie trick and create your own dreams like an artist?
For my own answer, I can't go fully into one camp or another as I've had both set of dreams (The Simpsons developing a time machine out of a sphere containing a thousand or so marbles, I mean really), but as my friend suggested, praying for your dreams whether conscious or unconscious, is a healthy part of maintaining one's mentality.
I'd recently picked up a book for writing research entitled Breathing Life into Your Character by Dr. Rachel Ballon, PhD. Every so pages it gives out an exercise, one of them being to record one's dreams as a means to see what your mind thinks of unhindered.
Interesting idea...though as of late when recording my dreams, I wonder just how my heart is burying my mind and visa versa on different topics. I dunno, it's been rather eye opening. Grant you, I'm not putting full stock into what my dreams are, though I can't help but ponder about the subject of the dream, the people in them, and how home hitting they are.
For now, I'll continue to write them down as they come to me, while at the same time beginning to once again take my friend's advice and pray for and about the dreams I've been having these past few nights.
I'm sorry that this wasn't so much of a spiritual type post, it's just something I needed to get out of my systems these past few days.
On a side note. I was wondering if you guys can pray for my father. He's on vacation these past two weeks, but he's been more stressed now that whenever he was working. So much so that, as I was told this morning, last night he was backing out into a parking lot, drove the car into another and proceeded to continue without noticing, raising the smaller car behind them up into the air while my mother, my older brother and his wife and kids watched trying to tell him to stop. I must admit, this has scared me as it's extremely rare to see him so stressed out. We're doing what we can to ease his stress, but his personality type limits what we can do without causing him more stress and frustration. We're making a little headway though, I hope and pray things will change for the better soon.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Yesterday today
Saturday I celebrated the wonderful occasion of two great friends getting married, right now, I mourn the loss of a dear friend who died earlier Saturday evening...
And I will praise you in this storm
And i will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hands
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I know you're in a better place where you can finally be able to run, jump, and dance and not be bound to your wheel chair; I'm still going to miss you though. Wuff you Tay, and I will see you again someday.
Goodnight
And I will praise you in this storm
And i will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hands
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I know you're in a better place where you can finally be able to run, jump, and dance and not be bound to your wheel chair; I'm still going to miss you though. Wuff you Tay, and I will see you again someday.
Goodnight
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Just because it's there...
doesn't mean it's for you.
Something our Bible study leader brought up two nights ago.
I got an email earlier this morning saying that I was being taken off the newsletter team as they feel the leaders should be doing the work so that the study group as a whole would understand who the leaders are and what they do, better. As part of this, the devotion I had planned to start was also canceled. I will admit I was rather bummed at first but I know somethings are meant to work out as they do for a reason, just need to go find it.
In other news I'd mailed off my laptop, phoenix, to Ten3 to help them with their work. Another admission I should make is that it feels absolutely weird being without a laptop for so long (I haven't used it for over three weeks now). I'll get over this eventually though.
On the plus side, I had experimented that with recording the Bible study for a possible podcast edition of it. I just checked my files and huzzah ! the recording went well! I just gotta make edits to it and try to remove some noise in the background.
Something our Bible study leader brought up two nights ago.
I got an email earlier this morning saying that I was being taken off the newsletter team as they feel the leaders should be doing the work so that the study group as a whole would understand who the leaders are and what they do, better. As part of this, the devotion I had planned to start was also canceled. I will admit I was rather bummed at first but I know somethings are meant to work out as they do for a reason, just need to go find it.
In other news I'd mailed off my laptop, phoenix, to Ten3 to help them with their work. Another admission I should make is that it feels absolutely weird being without a laptop for so long (I haven't used it for over three weeks now). I'll get over this eventually though.
On the plus side, I had experimented that with recording the Bible study for a possible podcast edition of it. I just checked my files and huzzah ! the recording went well! I just gotta make edits to it and try to remove some noise in the background.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Retreating
There is no such thing as retreat when one turns to prayer to those that truly know the power of prayer.
This past weekend was my church's trip to Trinity Pines and as I mentioned in one of my status' on facebook, wow. Though the evening we got there was a bit unnerving (the speakers were waaay too loud for such a small amount of space), I did feel His presence there throughout the time I'd spent there -- enough to be pulled away into hiding for a personal time with him deep into the trees of the prayer and much needed silence to listen. Things have changed from there and it may come to a surprise to some, an amen to others, but I looking forward to how these will play out in the long run.
The core message of the retreat was Impact, and how we as Christians need to focus on having a deeper impact in the lives around us to further the kingdom. As I don't have all my notes on me right now I can't give a recap of what all we went over so I'm sorry for that but they will be posted later. On the last day we talked a lot about prayer, it's power, what hinders us, what hinders our prayers, and of course, why some go unanswered. I must admit it was rather strange not having my laptop with me to take notes, but having it with me would've been a bit cumbersome on several levels, though I did wish to do some work. *Shrugs* ah well.
I have to say, there was something I'd gotten out of it that I wasn't quite expecting, the feel for a need of a mentor. Thankfully, I felt led to one in particular and he agreed. Though the gains run quicker, I can only pray on these things I lay here. I still need improvement, I still needed to walk in boldness or what good am I as someone called to a ministry of reconciliation? What role am I being called to take up I'm still praying and searching for, but yesterday seemed to be a good point in direction.
Cluade is the CEO of Ten3 missions, and we've spoken to each other about my current involvement with Ten3 as a writer for the communications department which has gone a bit dormant and of my future with them, whether it would be with communications, technology, or somewhere else. After showing him my artwork, literary work and a brief background he brought up the idea of working with the media department. Claude is a producer, which I felt built some common ground for the both of us to understand each other easier and it did. It's not official, but I told him I would serve Ten3 in that function. If you guys can pray on this I'd be most appreciative.
After a bit of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that I need to unplug myself for a time. Being said I've decided to cut out instant messenger, IRC and facebook for about a week though I will get on facebook if there are matters for the upcoming wedding to attend to. Some may find it to be a form of running away and I guess in a sense it is, though that's not how I saw it when the idea came to mind. There's a lot going on on this end and while I can't talk about all of it right now, I will say that I'm dealing with them as best as I can. I have been broken, worn down and defeated. I do not intend to build thicker walls but try to build a better foundation, though walls may appear as a result.
Above all else, I need silence and to be silent... and patient. I hope you'll understand.
With this finished and posted I'll be turning my computers and electronics off. I'm not sure what's to come of this and I dare not assume, but we shall see what happens when it does happen.
Farewell, see you after the blackout.
John
This past weekend was my church's trip to Trinity Pines and as I mentioned in one of my status' on facebook, wow. Though the evening we got there was a bit unnerving (the speakers were waaay too loud for such a small amount of space), I did feel His presence there throughout the time I'd spent there -- enough to be pulled away into hiding for a personal time with him deep into the trees of the prayer and much needed silence to listen. Things have changed from there and it may come to a surprise to some, an amen to others, but I looking forward to how these will play out in the long run.
The core message of the retreat was Impact, and how we as Christians need to focus on having a deeper impact in the lives around us to further the kingdom. As I don't have all my notes on me right now I can't give a recap of what all we went over so I'm sorry for that but they will be posted later. On the last day we talked a lot about prayer, it's power, what hinders us, what hinders our prayers, and of course, why some go unanswered. I must admit it was rather strange not having my laptop with me to take notes, but having it with me would've been a bit cumbersome on several levels, though I did wish to do some work. *Shrugs* ah well.
I have to say, there was something I'd gotten out of it that I wasn't quite expecting, the feel for a need of a mentor. Thankfully, I felt led to one in particular and he agreed. Though the gains run quicker, I can only pray on these things I lay here. I still need improvement, I still needed to walk in boldness or what good am I as someone called to a ministry of reconciliation? What role am I being called to take up I'm still praying and searching for, but yesterday seemed to be a good point in direction.
Cluade is the CEO of Ten3 missions, and we've spoken to each other about my current involvement with Ten3 as a writer for the communications department which has gone a bit dormant and of my future with them, whether it would be with communications, technology, or somewhere else. After showing him my artwork, literary work and a brief background he brought up the idea of working with the media department. Claude is a producer, which I felt built some common ground for the both of us to understand each other easier and it did. It's not official, but I told him I would serve Ten3 in that function. If you guys can pray on this I'd be most appreciative.
After a bit of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that I need to unplug myself for a time. Being said I've decided to cut out instant messenger, IRC and facebook for about a week though I will get on facebook if there are matters for the upcoming wedding to attend to. Some may find it to be a form of running away and I guess in a sense it is, though that's not how I saw it when the idea came to mind. There's a lot going on on this end and while I can't talk about all of it right now, I will say that I'm dealing with them as best as I can. I have been broken, worn down and defeated. I do not intend to build thicker walls but try to build a better foundation, though walls may appear as a result.
Above all else, I need silence and to be silent... and patient. I hope you'll understand.
With this finished and posted I'll be turning my computers and electronics off. I'm not sure what's to come of this and I dare not assume, but we shall see what happens when it does happen.
Farewell, see you after the blackout.
John
Friday, May 13, 2011
Walk with me, Walks with Him
Walk with me, walk with Him
A few days ago I went on a walk around town for eight miles, mostly to get some fresh air, but more so for some alone time with God. I'd been in Plainview for a week then searching for work there and in the surrounding areas as far as Lubbock without much success. The jobs that I've been able to apply for have since either rejected me, or have yet to contact me and I've run out of time for waiting. I'll be driving back to Houston 4am Saturday and too be honest the thought of leaving this place again has me a bit sick. This place has become my home and the people here family and it hurts to leave.
Father, where is it that you wish for me to go?
I know that eventually families will split to form new families, and that eventually we move out of our old homes to build new ones, but even after a year I still can't shake the feeling of longing for here. Pulls to certain people, partially out of the deepness our friendships have gotten and partially out of fear of losing that connection.
Father, to what vocation do you call me to?
The best part of this little trip was being around those I love and the one that inspires me. I feel rejuvenated to write again, which is good because I've learned that the first portion of one of my stories got deleted -- whoops. It's one of my prayers that these stories will become something more than just a text file on my computers and be an instrument for spreading hope and faith in Christ, even if in a C. S. Lewis manner.
Speaking of writing, I've decided to take some advice and talk to the CEO of Ten3 to see if there's something I can do to help with their missions and goals. With my past supervisor off the radar I've been a bit antsy to do something and until recently just needed the push to get a step forward taken. I can't wait to see where God will lead me in this, and I ask that those of you who read this will pray along with me on this.
Today feels like another day for walking, I'm not sure if I'll go the same route, but I know it will be in the same fashion, listening to God's words and continue praying. To pray for rain on a clear day, but its always raining somewhere.
May I see you in my walk, Father, and get in step to walk beside you.
~ J
-----Second Walk-----
I can't seem to grasp how I can take a totally different route and still end up walking the same distance... bizarre yet cool.
After the last walk I've come to a few conclusions
1. Discovering just how much my soul aches for more of God
2. how much my heart aches to seek what He has for me.
3. I still have a good ways to go in several areas of my life.
---------------------
Today is my last full day here in Plainview, and I have a sinking feeling that I won't be returning here for quite a bit of time. My hope to find a job to allow me to stay here for a little bit longer has failed and I'm starting to think that maybe God doesn't need me here anymore, which saddens me deeply but I know what He has planned for me would be so much greater than what I had in mind. I pray though that this doesn't mean that the friendships I've cultivated here and hold dear will not cease and that they'll continue to grow, but that's for Him to decided.
For those of Plainview and other portions of West Texas, I love you all and I shall continue to keep you in my prayers.
A few days ago I went on a walk around town for eight miles, mostly to get some fresh air, but more so for some alone time with God. I'd been in Plainview for a week then searching for work there and in the surrounding areas as far as Lubbock without much success. The jobs that I've been able to apply for have since either rejected me, or have yet to contact me and I've run out of time for waiting. I'll be driving back to Houston 4am Saturday and too be honest the thought of leaving this place again has me a bit sick. This place has become my home and the people here family and it hurts to leave.
Father, where is it that you wish for me to go?
I know that eventually families will split to form new families, and that eventually we move out of our old homes to build new ones, but even after a year I still can't shake the feeling of longing for here. Pulls to certain people, partially out of the deepness our friendships have gotten and partially out of fear of losing that connection.
Father, to what vocation do you call me to?
The best part of this little trip was being around those I love and the one that inspires me. I feel rejuvenated to write again, which is good because I've learned that the first portion of one of my stories got deleted -- whoops. It's one of my prayers that these stories will become something more than just a text file on my computers and be an instrument for spreading hope and faith in Christ, even if in a C. S. Lewis manner.
Speaking of writing, I've decided to take some advice and talk to the CEO of Ten3 to see if there's something I can do to help with their missions and goals. With my past supervisor off the radar I've been a bit antsy to do something and until recently just needed the push to get a step forward taken. I can't wait to see where God will lead me in this, and I ask that those of you who read this will pray along with me on this.
Today feels like another day for walking, I'm not sure if I'll go the same route, but I know it will be in the same fashion, listening to God's words and continue praying. To pray for rain on a clear day, but its always raining somewhere.
May I see you in my walk, Father, and get in step to walk beside you.
~ J
-----Second Walk-----
I can't seem to grasp how I can take a totally different route and still end up walking the same distance... bizarre yet cool.
After the last walk I've come to a few conclusions
1. Discovering just how much my soul aches for more of God
2. how much my heart aches to seek what He has for me.
3. I still have a good ways to go in several areas of my life.
---------------------
Today is my last full day here in Plainview, and I have a sinking feeling that I won't be returning here for quite a bit of time. My hope to find a job to allow me to stay here for a little bit longer has failed and I'm starting to think that maybe God doesn't need me here anymore, which saddens me deeply but I know what He has planned for me would be so much greater than what I had in mind. I pray though that this doesn't mean that the friendships I've cultivated here and hold dear will not cease and that they'll continue to grow, but that's for Him to decided.
For those of Plainview and other portions of West Texas, I love you all and I shall continue to keep you in my prayers.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
His name is - the mini series
My heart feels at peace since I've stepped out of my car and into Plainview last Monday. It leap and cried when it found the family that I left behind what seems decades ago. And yet yesterday and today my heart cried and my lyrics flowed.
I've had two friends, who I've become a close confidant and ear to, tell me me how they were in pain after their hearts were torn by what was thought of love and the breaking up of that love. I broke for them as I've known that pain well and wish it on no one. I wrote two poems, one for each to help them in their hardship. His name is Love to remind one that there is a love that surpasses all others, and His name is Light to remind the other why we go through hard times. Christianity, a relationship with Christ, only saves us from the hardship of eternity without the Father; it does not however guarantee us that we will no longer have hardships after we accept him. Rather, it is the opposite, it is painting a sign on ourselves and telling Satan to give us his best shots, because we have spiritually won through Christ's sacrifice and that through Jesus' sacrifice, Satan's power is forfeit. Satan will try all he can to discourage us, and we soon come to find out that he's accurate with his arrows.
A simple truth from the two poems and the possible poems to follow.
God's love is unequal to any love we will find here on earth.
We have light, because Christ is the light of the world
We have worth, because we are the children of God
*We are at our strongest, when we're weakest.
*He is our sword and shield
Today, after I'd posted the second poem, I asked myself a question: Why is it that pain and brokenness are such wonderful inspirations for artistic mediums?
What do you think?
I've had two friends, who I've become a close confidant and ear to, tell me me how they were in pain after their hearts were torn by what was thought of love and the breaking up of that love. I broke for them as I've known that pain well and wish it on no one. I wrote two poems, one for each to help them in their hardship. His name is Love to remind one that there is a love that surpasses all others, and His name is Light to remind the other why we go through hard times. Christianity, a relationship with Christ, only saves us from the hardship of eternity without the Father; it does not however guarantee us that we will no longer have hardships after we accept him. Rather, it is the opposite, it is painting a sign on ourselves and telling Satan to give us his best shots, because we have spiritually won through Christ's sacrifice and that through Jesus' sacrifice, Satan's power is forfeit. Satan will try all he can to discourage us, and we soon come to find out that he's accurate with his arrows.
A simple truth from the two poems and the possible poems to follow.
God's love is unequal to any love we will find here on earth.
We have light, because Christ is the light of the world
We have worth, because we are the children of God
*We are at our strongest, when we're weakest.
*He is our sword and shield
Today, after I'd posted the second poem, I asked myself a question: Why is it that pain and brokenness are such wonderful inspirations for artistic mediums?
What do you think?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
As the clock ticks
T -36 minutes until I'm 27...
What a year, graduating college, moving away from what I still consider home and leaving everyone I knew behind. I've learned a lot since coming back to Houston... mostly spiritually than anything else. I dearly miss West Texas and the people I've come to know as my second family, one day, if it's in God's plans, I hope to be with them (some if not all) once more... we shall see.
I've picked up some new reading materials since I've came home which have helped me realize a lot of myself and the things I've been through over the past year.
No Plot, No Problem
How has this influenced me? Well, it's mostly gotten me out of my shell with my gift of writing. I had done a few writing projects before but they were always collaboration projects. This last November was my first solo piece that has grown to be a big part of my life and a project I am to see finish. This has also helped reinspired me to finish other books as well as develop new stories.
The Mark of a Man
A special book to me that was given to me years ago by my mother while I was in my early years of college. I never read it then, but I wish I had taken the courage to do so sooner. Once a year I reread it to help me remember it's truths and advice, and each time I learn something new.
Finding God's Will
A book by my Houstonian pastor Greg Matte...the title explains itself :)
Doulos
The book that helped me dive into Houston's First Baptist Church. I didn't really go to the Bible studies until a time after I went and did the Doulos study... Doulos is a Greek word for servants, but specifically a servant that came back to serve their master after they were freed. This study was about the aspects of a disciple and how we are to truly be one by understanding who God is and what his aspects are. :) Highly suggested
The Five Love Languages - Singles ed.
I bought the married version for a friend because it was an interesting topic and well, we didn't see the singles edition until later lol. As the title suggests, it covers the 5 main languages we all know and are in need of for any relationship to survive. I'd planned to read this before April to help me plan out my script for script frenzy but as that project has hit the wall I still read it in hopes to understand people and be a better person for our friendships to grow.
T-21 minutes
The Bible
Last, but never the least, the Bible. In church we've been going over the book of John, in Paradigm (Bible study) we'd gone over Hebrews 11 and recently James. Wow, looking back on my notes, I've been blown away by so much over the past few months and I can only pray that the things I've learned will be reflected in my future self. There is so much more to read, can any one mere man other than Christ understand it completely, never and that's a beautiful things.
Father, as I draw near to close this chapter in my life. I pray that your hands will guide mine as I turn this page and start the 27th chapter in my life. You've known my desires before you made me, and as I continue to pray to you and give you praise, I pray that I will continue to see that Your will is much greater than anything that I can ever hope fore, even though I know I've been stubborn with my dreams. I have seen and tasted your blessings and even no I yearn for more. I wish to follow you, stay where you do and serve those you place in my life in the manner you know is best. Hollowed by your name, and blessed be your name in the glory and honor that you deserve. I am but a vessel for you to pour out your grace and love. I wish to live for you forever, and die for you in a manner that brings you glory. I go out knowing that I may never see a face I yearn to see, nor hold a hand I wish to feel. You Father are the only one that can quench this heart's yearning for love completely and without restraint. I love you Abba. Tonight I go knowing that it is not my birthday tomorrow but an anniversary of having a life in You, a life more abundant. May this year bring me suffering so that I may draw closer to you, weakness so that I may further know your strength, hurt so that I may know your love and peace. I pray that, if anything else... that I would stop asking you to be with me, but that I will turn my eyes to see that you were, are, and always will be by my side. I pray these things in your name.
Amen
T-5 minutes
For those of you that read these spare postings of mine, thank you. Your prayers and kind words have been a blessing, and those are the best gifts I can ever receive. I love you guys. Farewell and sweet dreams to you all.
Love always,
John
What a year, graduating college, moving away from what I still consider home and leaving everyone I knew behind. I've learned a lot since coming back to Houston... mostly spiritually than anything else. I dearly miss West Texas and the people I've come to know as my second family, one day, if it's in God's plans, I hope to be with them (some if not all) once more... we shall see.
I've picked up some new reading materials since I've came home which have helped me realize a lot of myself and the things I've been through over the past year.
No Plot, No Problem
How has this influenced me? Well, it's mostly gotten me out of my shell with my gift of writing. I had done a few writing projects before but they were always collaboration projects. This last November was my first solo piece that has grown to be a big part of my life and a project I am to see finish. This has also helped reinspired me to finish other books as well as develop new stories.
The Mark of a Man
A special book to me that was given to me years ago by my mother while I was in my early years of college. I never read it then, but I wish I had taken the courage to do so sooner. Once a year I reread it to help me remember it's truths and advice, and each time I learn something new.
Finding God's Will
A book by my Houstonian pastor Greg Matte...the title explains itself :)
Doulos
The book that helped me dive into Houston's First Baptist Church. I didn't really go to the Bible studies until a time after I went and did the Doulos study... Doulos is a Greek word for servants, but specifically a servant that came back to serve their master after they were freed. This study was about the aspects of a disciple and how we are to truly be one by understanding who God is and what his aspects are. :) Highly suggested
The Five Love Languages - Singles ed.
I bought the married version for a friend because it was an interesting topic and well, we didn't see the singles edition until later lol. As the title suggests, it covers the 5 main languages we all know and are in need of for any relationship to survive. I'd planned to read this before April to help me plan out my script for script frenzy but as that project has hit the wall I still read it in hopes to understand people and be a better person for our friendships to grow.
T-21 minutes
The Bible
Last, but never the least, the Bible. In church we've been going over the book of John, in Paradigm (Bible study) we'd gone over Hebrews 11 and recently James. Wow, looking back on my notes, I've been blown away by so much over the past few months and I can only pray that the things I've learned will be reflected in my future self. There is so much more to read, can any one mere man other than Christ understand it completely, never and that's a beautiful things.
Father, as I draw near to close this chapter in my life. I pray that your hands will guide mine as I turn this page and start the 27th chapter in my life. You've known my desires before you made me, and as I continue to pray to you and give you praise, I pray that I will continue to see that Your will is much greater than anything that I can ever hope fore, even though I know I've been stubborn with my dreams. I have seen and tasted your blessings and even no I yearn for more. I wish to follow you, stay where you do and serve those you place in my life in the manner you know is best. Hollowed by your name, and blessed be your name in the glory and honor that you deserve. I am but a vessel for you to pour out your grace and love. I wish to live for you forever, and die for you in a manner that brings you glory. I go out knowing that I may never see a face I yearn to see, nor hold a hand I wish to feel. You Father are the only one that can quench this heart's yearning for love completely and without restraint. I love you Abba. Tonight I go knowing that it is not my birthday tomorrow but an anniversary of having a life in You, a life more abundant. May this year bring me suffering so that I may draw closer to you, weakness so that I may further know your strength, hurt so that I may know your love and peace. I pray that, if anything else... that I would stop asking you to be with me, but that I will turn my eyes to see that you were, are, and always will be by my side. I pray these things in your name.
Amen
T-5 minutes
For those of you that read these spare postings of mine, thank you. Your prayers and kind words have been a blessing, and those are the best gifts I can ever receive. I love you guys. Farewell and sweet dreams to you all.
Love always,
John
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Chess with God
So often we're the pawn that thinks that they're the king. We try to move pieces in our lives to "win;" but it's only when we recognize that He is King and allow him to move us and the things in our lives the way that He wants, that we will become greater than we are and will win and be part of His glory. Just a thought from tonight.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Let me pour myself out to you for a moment.
Today I went out and bought myself a new suit and a coat from Jos A Bank. It went pretty well, if anything I have something nice for the upcoming wedding this summer though the original reason for these purchases was to have something to wear for work when I actually find work.
Work... one of the few things that I don't quite have yet. Why? I'm not sure, I just can't find a place that says yes, this is where He wants you to be. It's been nearly a year since I've graduated college, and I've been working at my dad's office helping him with clerical and book keeping stuff. Over the past ten months I've realized a few things.
- Getting a business degree wasn't the best idea.
- Computers doesn't feel like my calling, just a tool to be used for it
- Writing is the only thing that I can do without too much thought and it makes me happy
- God's plan for me is still there, waiting
Why did I get a business degree then? When I applied for Wayland I was originally going to go into computer science and possibly art. My father dashed my hopes of achieving anything artistically because he had the same ideas back then and well, he hasn't done anything artistic since college. Another of my passion was writing -- I'd written poetry and prose and yet the discouragement that came to the art flooded over into my writing and so I didn't choose an English degree. I remember the numerous occasions where I would look at the English classes and go "Oooo it'd be neat to take this course, and this course, and etc." but I'd already started down business. Why business? Well, at the time Thomas, my older brother, was already graduated and was working for Hewlett Packard. He had a business degree and was doing programming work for them and I thought how cool would that be? So I chose business, beside the fact that my brother was in it, it seemed one of the more versatile degrees to get.
I dunno, academic wise I sometimes feel as though I made the wrong decision with my degree, but what can one do about it accept move forward?
Another thing that's been wearing on me, my heart longs for W. Texas, not so much the people there though I do miss them deeply, but it just felt right there. I guess Plainview and Lubbock have grown on me? Where God leads me I pray I have the courage and the obedience more so to take a step out and begin following. Maybe it's somewhere up north, that's the only thing I can feel sure of.
Father, where can you use me? Where do you wish me to go?
I will honestly say I'm too scared to look without Him, and I'm happy about that. People tell me that I should just find something (or two) that will just help me survive. People send me listings for computer orientated jobs that are well beyond me and besides that, certifications are costly. I cry whenever I hear about oil companies, I always had even when I was eighteen. There's just something about them.. and I keep hearing the word flee whenever I see a job position available. I don't know what to make of it, but it scares me too.
I don't know what to do aside from prayer and seeking God, as well as continue writing. I'm scared, and yet all the more hopefully, because I know I'm learning to trust Him all the more with my worries and fears.
I was actually talking to a close friend of mine of three of our fears. One of the fears I gave her was the fear of losing those dear to me. Of all the fears I have, that is definitely #1 -- not death, not having a job, but losing those close to me, especially one in particular. They make up so much of my life and a good portion of my inspiration for the writings and arts. The people whom I would wash their feet, climb over security fences, drive in a torrential downpour for, and pour my time and finances out to. I don't have fairly many, but I'm blessed to have each and everyone one that I have. I love you guys, you know who you are.
Father,
You know my heart, its desires, its fears, and its joys. I thank you so much for blessing my life so much and how you brought so many people into it for your glory. I pray that I will continue to take any movement forward necessary to continue moving forward and along side you. I don't know where I will be in the next year or the next week, but I know that You will never move away thanks to your son. I pray that as the time passes, I will strengthen my intimacy with You and within that, find where it is that You want me to go and that with faith I'll be able to walk out to it. There is no greater joy than being where You wish for me to be and it is my prayer to be in that place. Guide me Father, because I'm too frighten to do it on my own.
Amen
Father Knows Best
Click here to watch a wonderfully done message from my pastor, I can't do it justice here, you'd have to see it.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Paradigm Homework
It's been a good while since I've actually had homework. This assigned last week by our Paradigm class leader Bill. Take a day with a verse in the list and write something about it. Here is my assignment.
[Monday]
[Monday]
1 Peter 1:13-25
- Prepare your mind for action
- The stronger you are for Christ, the stronger the attacks will become, stay worded up
- Purify yourself
- Replace old habits (sinning) with new (growing in Christ by getting into the word of God)
- Be Holy because He’s holy
- Set your hope fully on the grace that’s coming
- Use your brethern to help gird up your loin and assist us
James 1:22-25
Don’t just listen to the word, DO IT!
[Tuesday]
Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed by this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. -KJV
An ambassador is someone that forsakes their own interests for the sake of the people they represent. Sacrificing who they are to better so those around them what their people are. As Christians we are to sacrifice ourselves completely to God so that the world may see who and what He is. We should not be tainted by the world around us but be able to show what Christ’s word has taught us.
[Wednesday] Ephesians 4:17-24
This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: -KJV
In Christ we are reborn as children of God, with our mines renewed in transformation so that unlike those that don’t serve God, we have a clearer understanding of life around us and are able to walk with God through his grace and blessings while his hand guides us with righteous justice and love.
[Thursday] 2 Corinthians 3:17-18
If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. -KJV
Elsewhere in the scriptures we are told that our bodies are the temple of God, and that we must take care of our bodies as such. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’ll become sick and get onto a destructive path toward death. In the same manner that we must train our bodies so we must also train our mind for a strong man without brain is nothing more than raw unstable power. There are three kinds of smarts in this world
Book smarts - textual knowledge, school knowledge, etc.
Street smarts - the knowledge we gain from life itself
Spirit smarts - the knowledge gained from faith
To have the first two would allow one to live a wonderful life, to have all three would gain someone an extraordinary life. Having just the last would gain someone a fulfilled life.
[Friday] Look up verses that tell you what we are to look like in Christ
There are two passages that come to my mind, 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter; and Job 1:8, where God tells Satan about his blameless and upright servant. On that feared Him and turned away from evil.
[Saturday] Look up verses that tell us who we are in Christ
Romans 5:1. Being therefore justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
We are justified and therefore we have a peace that surpasses those without Christ’s love.
Galatians 3:13. Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us. For it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree,”
We are redeemed from the curse of the law, death has no hold on us.
Colossians Chapter 2:9-10 For in him all the fullness of the Godhead dwells bodily, and in him you are made full, who is the head of all principality and power;
We are complete, what more can we want that He cannot provide?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Its the closer ones that are the hardest
So as I've posted on my facebook last Friday I was at a church retreat for my Sunday evening Bible study group "Paradigm". It wasn't at all what I had expected, but it was still a lot of fun, full of fellowship and laughter.
I asked one of my friends to come along with to help her get to know people from the group and she agreed thinking that there would be some structure schedule and of course some Bible studying. We've come to find out that it was more of a fellowship retreat though there were some messages and a few groups that had a topic study. Unfortunately my friend was asleep for the topic study and was a little annoyed that she'd missed it. I tried my best to help her have a good time but it just wasn't working that well. Hmm..
Today I was going to talk about what the messages were from church last night and how they impacted me, but I have something a bit more... important? to talk about. I'll start with this question:
Q.) How do you minister with someone who's losing their faith?
During the service the pastor was talking about if you're not walking in the light, you're walking in darkness (obvious right?) And gave a few examples of what's considered being in darkness vs. light. My friend was feeling as though she was being condemned rather than being convicted and just started crying. I didn't notice it at the time and thought she was just tired. When we went to the Bible study, we were going over James chapter 4 and my friend felt even more condemned through the evening. I can honestly say I can't figure out how to connect how what either of the these times were condemning. I personally felt that they were convicting rather than condemning, both telling you that there's something wrong with your life, but with the difference of where the source of that telling is coming from.
When we got into the car to get dinner, she started to cry more and while I tried my best to console her she told me she wanted to give up. I told her that she needed to hold onto God and continue to pray and she asked me for how long. I said for as long as it takes to get an answer. As we headed toward dinner, she asked me about grace and the only example that I could come up with at the time was the utter removal of debt, that it was receiving something we didn't deserve.
All in all though, I felt a failure for not being able to do more last time to lift her up in faith. I'm still not sure what else to do except try to have her talk to the pastor or our Bible study teacher to help her iron out her thought processes. There's been so much going on with her this month that made everything horrible for her, loss of job and income, anniversary of her father's death, people pulling away from her, etc.. Things that have started to pile up on her heart lately. I gave her the thought of what if God was pulling things away from her so that He could have a better chance of getting her attention better. It seemed like a left field idea, but I hope it makes her think and try to find a spiritual reason for why things are happening the way they are.
I can only pray and do my best, but Father, you are the one that can do the most healing. I place my tongue in your hand so that whatever I say to her is from you. I place my hands in yours so that you may guide me so that I may best know what to do. Help me a small light that will help guide her back to your life giving light. Amen.
I asked one of my friends to come along with to help her get to know people from the group and she agreed thinking that there would be some structure schedule and of course some Bible studying. We've come to find out that it was more of a fellowship retreat though there were some messages and a few groups that had a topic study. Unfortunately my friend was asleep for the topic study and was a little annoyed that she'd missed it. I tried my best to help her have a good time but it just wasn't working that well. Hmm..
Today I was going to talk about what the messages were from church last night and how they impacted me, but I have something a bit more... important? to talk about. I'll start with this question:
Q.) How do you minister with someone who's losing their faith?
During the service the pastor was talking about if you're not walking in the light, you're walking in darkness (obvious right?) And gave a few examples of what's considered being in darkness vs. light. My friend was feeling as though she was being condemned rather than being convicted and just started crying. I didn't notice it at the time and thought she was just tired. When we went to the Bible study, we were going over James chapter 4 and my friend felt even more condemned through the evening. I can honestly say I can't figure out how to connect how what either of the these times were condemning. I personally felt that they were convicting rather than condemning, both telling you that there's something wrong with your life, but with the difference of where the source of that telling is coming from.
When we got into the car to get dinner, she started to cry more and while I tried my best to console her she told me she wanted to give up. I told her that she needed to hold onto God and continue to pray and she asked me for how long. I said for as long as it takes to get an answer. As we headed toward dinner, she asked me about grace and the only example that I could come up with at the time was the utter removal of debt, that it was receiving something we didn't deserve.
All in all though, I felt a failure for not being able to do more last time to lift her up in faith. I'm still not sure what else to do except try to have her talk to the pastor or our Bible study teacher to help her iron out her thought processes. There's been so much going on with her this month that made everything horrible for her, loss of job and income, anniversary of her father's death, people pulling away from her, etc.. Things that have started to pile up on her heart lately. I gave her the thought of what if God was pulling things away from her so that He could have a better chance of getting her attention better. It seemed like a left field idea, but I hope it makes her think and try to find a spiritual reason for why things are happening the way they are.
I can only pray and do my best, but Father, you are the one that can do the most healing. I place my tongue in your hand so that whatever I say to her is from you. I place my hands in yours so that you may guide me so that I may best know what to do. Help me a small light that will help guide her back to your life giving light. Amen.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Obey Your Thirst
"In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." - John 7:37 KJV
That verse has been bouncing around in my head since Sunday night when my pastor gave his sermon. He gave the illustration of a sprite commercial where people would drink the product then slam into each other, releasing a wave of water that would shower everyone around them. It's one of the reasons I've loved coming to hear his sermons, he has rather interesting methods for bringing out the points of the message God gives him. When the clip finished, he went straight into the lesson and spoke that everyone has a thirst that needed to be quenched and that in order for it. What he said following that mad my heart sink a good ways.
"Legitimate needs met in an illegitimate way is sin."
Up until that evening, I never thought of it so straight on before. I was brought up believing that sin was what occurs when you just do things that were outside of God's Will, and never thought it out further than that. Yet this simple phrase brought home a point that for over twenty years was just sitting on my door step wanting to get in. Suffice it to say that my heart has been troubling me more so than not since then.
As I type I have a box of chocolates that my parents had bought me for Valentine's Day, and beside that a book by Gary Chapman that talks about the five love languages (I may write a bit on that later). Thinking back on Sunday night, I remember telling my friend that the sermon was the best Valentine's sermon that I've heard in a long time. She just looked at me funny and told me she had no idea what I was talking about. Here's what my though process was like.
I thirst for love, and have gone out to seek it, only to find myself hurt and without my thirst satisfied but worse. My soul was always left dehydrated and yet I continued to seek it out because my thirst was that great. The sermon went on to say that Christ will quench everything, something I'd always known but as we all know, we can know a lot but practice little. Over the years I had been at college, I had forgotten that, and I believe that is where I started making mistakes. Since I've been out of college my spiritual life seems to be slowly getting back on track, though there's still someone I greatly miss as well as friends that I consider my family that I will always miss and welcome with open arms and a closing bear hug. Though I wish to return to them, I need to get my life back on track and remind my heart what it was like to have a heart so deep in Christ nothing else mattered.
I need to go back and drink from the source that will bring back life to my soul and life. How can anyone run, give chase, or anything so much more than a crawl if they do not put the right nourishments into themselves?
We left the sermon with three things
- You must acknowledge your thirst
- Belief in Christ is the thirst quencher of the soul
- The Holy Spirit's indwelling results in living waters flowing
That last point was an interesting one for me, as it was spoken of being one of the main things that separated the Old and New Testaments. In the first portion of the Bible, men were inspired by the Holy Spirit, whereas in the second half the Holy Spirit was inspiring and indwelling. How cool is that? To know that we could have such things that the men and women in the Old Testament that God was able to do such miraculous and great things through didn't have.
Simple truths with mind blowing revelations every time I hear or read it.
As I close... Jesus was willing to give up everything, life included so that we may spend eternity with Him. There's only a small handful of people I would lay down my life for. What does that mean exactly? Well for starters, I need to have more of the love God has for His creation. Second, how can anyone top such a gift on Valentine's day?
Love you guys, and know I'm always praying for you.
John
That verse has been bouncing around in my head since Sunday night when my pastor gave his sermon. He gave the illustration of a sprite commercial where people would drink the product then slam into each other, releasing a wave of water that would shower everyone around them. It's one of the reasons I've loved coming to hear his sermons, he has rather interesting methods for bringing out the points of the message God gives him. When the clip finished, he went straight into the lesson and spoke that everyone has a thirst that needed to be quenched and that in order for it. What he said following that mad my heart sink a good ways.
"Legitimate needs met in an illegitimate way is sin."
Up until that evening, I never thought of it so straight on before. I was brought up believing that sin was what occurs when you just do things that were outside of God's Will, and never thought it out further than that. Yet this simple phrase brought home a point that for over twenty years was just sitting on my door step wanting to get in. Suffice it to say that my heart has been troubling me more so than not since then.
As I type I have a box of chocolates that my parents had bought me for Valentine's Day, and beside that a book by Gary Chapman that talks about the five love languages (I may write a bit on that later). Thinking back on Sunday night, I remember telling my friend that the sermon was the best Valentine's sermon that I've heard in a long time. She just looked at me funny and told me she had no idea what I was talking about. Here's what my though process was like.
I thirst for love, and have gone out to seek it, only to find myself hurt and without my thirst satisfied but worse. My soul was always left dehydrated and yet I continued to seek it out because my thirst was that great. The sermon went on to say that Christ will quench everything, something I'd always known but as we all know, we can know a lot but practice little. Over the years I had been at college, I had forgotten that, and I believe that is where I started making mistakes. Since I've been out of college my spiritual life seems to be slowly getting back on track, though there's still someone I greatly miss as well as friends that I consider my family that I will always miss and welcome with open arms and a closing bear hug. Though I wish to return to them, I need to get my life back on track and remind my heart what it was like to have a heart so deep in Christ nothing else mattered.
I need to go back and drink from the source that will bring back life to my soul and life. How can anyone run, give chase, or anything so much more than a crawl if they do not put the right nourishments into themselves?
We left the sermon with three things
- You must acknowledge your thirst
- Belief in Christ is the thirst quencher of the soul
- The Holy Spirit's indwelling results in living waters flowing
That last point was an interesting one for me, as it was spoken of being one of the main things that separated the Old and New Testaments. In the first portion of the Bible, men were inspired by the Holy Spirit, whereas in the second half the Holy Spirit was inspiring and indwelling. How cool is that? To know that we could have such things that the men and women in the Old Testament that God was able to do such miraculous and great things through didn't have.
Simple truths with mind blowing revelations every time I hear or read it.
As I close... Jesus was willing to give up everything, life included so that we may spend eternity with Him. There's only a small handful of people I would lay down my life for. What does that mean exactly? Well for starters, I need to have more of the love God has for His creation. Second, how can anyone top such a gift on Valentine's day?
Love you guys, and know I'm always praying for you.
John
Monday, January 17, 2011
Ambasadors
So, thankfully I was able to submit my article to Ten 3 in time. Phew, I don't know why but for some reason I couldn't get the inspiration to go until the night before. I'm quite curious as to how it will be taken, but we'll hopefully see sometime this week *crosses fingers*
I'm starting to look into a deeper future with Ten 3 missions as a writer, but I'm not sure what all that would entail, I guess it's another thing I'll have to bring up with -E- in our next Skype meeting — please keep the issue in your prayers.
Church is coming up to an interesting turn of events, all Bible studies will be conducted AFTER the evening service after the second week of February. This means instead of 5:15 Paradigm and 6:30 Service it's now 5:15 Service and 6:30 Paradigm. This strikes me as rather odd, because I'm too used to even service being at 6:30 for... well all my life? I'm not sure what to think about it, yes it's just a switch of times, but I usually do stuff outside of church after Paradigm class, and now that it's being bumped I'm not sure what that'll do to my usual plans. We shall see.
Speaking of church, last night was the missions expo. There was a "rooms" set that had four to five diferent topics from water, to trafficing, etc.; there was even a room that was passing out MRE's. Along side toward the southern part of the room there was about twenty five to thirty tables where different mission groups were situated. Needless to say, it was an interesting night. Once my friend and I were done with that we went to Paradigm where our teacher did the second installment of the evangelism arc. Liz isn't too happy that our teacher knows I type my notes instead of writing them like the others, and thus calls on me for a "nugget" from last week. I have to admit, I'm quite giddy (I guess that's the right word?) *shrugs*. She's worried he'll do that from now on and I can't help but laugh. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire more typists to come out of the wood works.
As far as the lesson went, it was about how we're ambassadors as soon as we accept Christ, Citizens of heaven and should act as such. Not assimulating the world we living in, but showing the world what heaven is through our action and nonaction. We are to show that Christ is the safest place our soul can be in the ever changing chaos that the world and life is. We are not alone in our work, ever. We have others working along side us and above all the Holy Spirit is always with us.
I look back on my life last year and wonder, what could I have done better to promote Christ in my life? It's something I need to do every morning I wake up.
How can we promote Christ in our daily lives?
Think about it.
I'm starting to look into a deeper future with Ten 3 missions as a writer, but I'm not sure what all that would entail, I guess it's another thing I'll have to bring up with -E- in our next Skype meeting — please keep the issue in your prayers.
Church is coming up to an interesting turn of events, all Bible studies will be conducted AFTER the evening service after the second week of February. This means instead of 5:15 Paradigm and 6:30 Service it's now 5:15 Service and 6:30 Paradigm. This strikes me as rather odd, because I'm too used to even service being at 6:30 for... well all my life? I'm not sure what to think about it, yes it's just a switch of times, but I usually do stuff outside of church after Paradigm class, and now that it's being bumped I'm not sure what that'll do to my usual plans. We shall see.
Speaking of church, last night was the missions expo. There was a "rooms" set that had four to five diferent topics from water, to trafficing, etc.; there was even a room that was passing out MRE's. Along side toward the southern part of the room there was about twenty five to thirty tables where different mission groups were situated. Needless to say, it was an interesting night. Once my friend and I were done with that we went to Paradigm where our teacher did the second installment of the evangelism arc. Liz isn't too happy that our teacher knows I type my notes instead of writing them like the others, and thus calls on me for a "nugget" from last week. I have to admit, I'm quite giddy (I guess that's the right word?) *shrugs*. She's worried he'll do that from now on and I can't help but laugh. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire more typists to come out of the wood works.
As far as the lesson went, it was about how we're ambassadors as soon as we accept Christ, Citizens of heaven and should act as such. Not assimulating the world we living in, but showing the world what heaven is through our action and nonaction. We are to show that Christ is the safest place our soul can be in the ever changing chaos that the world and life is. We are not alone in our work, ever. We have others working along side us and above all the Holy Spirit is always with us.
I look back on my life last year and wonder, what could I have done better to promote Christ in my life? It's something I need to do every morning I wake up.
How can we promote Christ in our daily lives?
Think about it.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Awana fold for God's glory.
Sorry, couldn't resist the play on words (Awana... I wanna...? Anyone?) It's 0927 on Saturday, a time I would normally spend sleeping in *yawns* woke up at 7:25 and all I can think of is having tea, while not trying to think of some other things.
Last night, I and my friend Liz went to an Awana class last night after being invited to speak there by a friend of my mother. This friend apparently overheard that I did origami and wanted me to do a demonstration for her class. I obliged, back in November. The date continued to be pushed back until it was decided I would open up Awana 2011. My topic: God the Creator -- it was my first time teaching little kids, so it was definitely an interesting experience. I opened up asking about why God created the things he did, it may have been a bit too much to ask about but I got some interesting answers. The conversation then went over to those in the room that drew, painted, or did any sort of artwork. Half of the kids raised their hands and we were back on track. I asked them why did they created art, to which I got a good round of replies, expression, because they love to create art, etc. I asked whether they wrote their names on it and why; they got the answer dead on. After telling them how God had his signiture on everything He created, I told them to pick up a sheet of paper.
Now, usually when I teach origami it's an one on one experience, not one on twenty experience. Luckily, Liz already knew the model and was helping me out with making sure the kids knew how to follow the directions. A few of the adults were trying it out as well but I guess I didn't make the instructions clear or they couldn't see the example I was working on. Sadly enough, I had picked a piece of paper that was near the same color as the wall behind me — whoops. At the end we had some rather unique cranes.
I did have a girl ask a good question though, how will this be a bird? (we were on step five or three if you were starting with the bird base) I stopped the class and told them that life would have points were you'd be wondering what's going on and how will this bring you to where you're going. Something will be unclear, but nessecary to what God has planned for you. After that, I showed them how the model opened up to reveal the wings and neck of the bird. Pretty nice timing huh?
The experience was only for half an hour. I had planned to show them how to make a fox puppet, but that will have to wait for another time. That may actually happen as they were all asking if I'd be available to help out again; we shall see. The night did hold some nostalgia for me as I'd explained to JennyBeth later that evening:
"Anyways, somewhere in 3-4th grade a trio of Japanese women stopped by our school to give a cultural lesson. They gave us bookmarks with our names in Japanese and started teaching the class how to fold a crane and a helmet. Well, lets just say I as already finished with both by the time they were on stepped 3 What made tonight so nostalgic was we had some ukrainians visiting us tonight, and they were already doing origami with the paper I'd set out for the class before I started on the crane."
Overall, it was a fun and enlightening evening during and after the lesson and I'm glad I got to do it though I'll be bringing advil with me next time. How do my friends in Doulos manage it daily? *chuckles*
Today I plan on doing some work for Ten3. It's going to be a long day at the desk, but nothign that can't be handled. I pray you all will have a great weekend, take care!
~ John
Last night, I and my friend Liz went to an Awana class last night after being invited to speak there by a friend of my mother. This friend apparently overheard that I did origami and wanted me to do a demonstration for her class. I obliged, back in November. The date continued to be pushed back until it was decided I would open up Awana 2011. My topic: God the Creator -- it was my first time teaching little kids, so it was definitely an interesting experience. I opened up asking about why God created the things he did, it may have been a bit too much to ask about but I got some interesting answers. The conversation then went over to those in the room that drew, painted, or did any sort of artwork. Half of the kids raised their hands and we were back on track. I asked them why did they created art, to which I got a good round of replies, expression, because they love to create art, etc. I asked whether they wrote their names on it and why; they got the answer dead on. After telling them how God had his signiture on everything He created, I told them to pick up a sheet of paper.
Now, usually when I teach origami it's an one on one experience, not one on twenty experience. Luckily, Liz already knew the model and was helping me out with making sure the kids knew how to follow the directions. A few of the adults were trying it out as well but I guess I didn't make the instructions clear or they couldn't see the example I was working on. Sadly enough, I had picked a piece of paper that was near the same color as the wall behind me — whoops. At the end we had some rather unique cranes.
I did have a girl ask a good question though, how will this be a bird? (we were on step five or three if you were starting with the bird base) I stopped the class and told them that life would have points were you'd be wondering what's going on and how will this bring you to where you're going. Something will be unclear, but nessecary to what God has planned for you. After that, I showed them how the model opened up to reveal the wings and neck of the bird. Pretty nice timing huh?
The experience was only for half an hour. I had planned to show them how to make a fox puppet, but that will have to wait for another time. That may actually happen as they were all asking if I'd be available to help out again; we shall see. The night did hold some nostalgia for me as I'd explained to JennyBeth later that evening:
"Anyways, somewhere in 3-4th grade a trio of Japanese women stopped by our school to give a cultural lesson. They gave us bookmarks with our names in Japanese and started teaching the class how to fold a crane and a helmet. Well, lets just say I as already finished with both by the time they were on stepped 3 What made tonight so nostalgic was we had some ukrainians visiting us tonight, and they were already doing origami with the paper I'd set out for the class before I started on the crane."
Overall, it was a fun and enlightening evening during and after the lesson and I'm glad I got to do it though I'll be bringing advil with me next time. How do my friends in Doulos manage it daily? *chuckles*
Today I plan on doing some work for Ten3. It's going to be a long day at the desk, but nothign that can't be handled. I pray you all will have a great weekend, take care!
~ John
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Dreams and movement.
So this morning, I had a rather strange dream. I won't go too much into details about it here but it reminded me of my friend Ana who would always tell me this at the end of our conversations - "pray for your dreams." I may have to follow that advice again.
Later this morning my mother called and asked what I had planned today and also what I had planned for the future. While I have been looking for work, I've been coming up short and it's made me wonder where I'm supposed to be in life, what am I supposed to do in life now that I'm out of college? I haven't seen any open doors down here in Houston despite how many places I've applied too and it's frustrating and discouraging. I just try to remember what God says in Jeremiah 29:11 and face the day as I can. Thankfully, despite an official job, I have been able to do some clerical work and set some money aside in savings. I've also noticed that my habits have begun to change over the past few months I've down here which is a pleasant surprise.
I pray that He'll show me where He plans for me to go. Since I'd left college there's been a sense of longing to go back there. Originally I thought it was for schooling and to get a masters degree but I'm not so sure about that anymore. Granted, in the beginning I did try out for it and was accepted but there's just no funding to go. While I miss Plainview, Tx with all it's quirks I miss certain more so. How can one spend so many years with people and not? I would do just about anything to be able to spend more time with them, yet I want to do what God has for me to do. It's frightening at times when I think I would have to let people go, especially a certain few. I know I can trust Him, it's just needing to work on my non-trust? I realize this is why I'm still where I am, I'm wanting to move forward yet scared about what the next step may bring but more than anything what i would leave behind me in that step. I want to grow, and grow strong, but what good is strength if there's too much fear to use it to its full potential? I'd be causing dystrophy within myself.
Where am I going with this post? I'm not quite sure yet. I guess I'm just in a rambling mood of sorts but please bare with me if you can.
To sacrifice to God is open yourself for something greater than what you already are, and what you already have. To do so is taking a step forward toward Him and leaving everything else behind. You can't take it with you when you leave, why must we carry them with us then? Why must I cling to them instead of clinging to Him?
I find it funny how I want to chase lions yet am to afraid to take the first step in running.
Lord, as I go out today, I pray you'll shake up my world so that if nothing else I will learn to hang on to you. Show me the direction to run and give me a fire beneath my feet so I do not waver. So be it.
Later this morning my mother called and asked what I had planned today and also what I had planned for the future. While I have been looking for work, I've been coming up short and it's made me wonder where I'm supposed to be in life, what am I supposed to do in life now that I'm out of college? I haven't seen any open doors down here in Houston despite how many places I've applied too and it's frustrating and discouraging. I just try to remember what God says in Jeremiah 29:11 and face the day as I can. Thankfully, despite an official job, I have been able to do some clerical work and set some money aside in savings. I've also noticed that my habits have begun to change over the past few months I've down here which is a pleasant surprise.
I pray that He'll show me where He plans for me to go. Since I'd left college there's been a sense of longing to go back there. Originally I thought it was for schooling and to get a masters degree but I'm not so sure about that anymore. Granted, in the beginning I did try out for it and was accepted but there's just no funding to go. While I miss Plainview, Tx with all it's quirks I miss certain more so. How can one spend so many years with people and not? I would do just about anything to be able to spend more time with them, yet I want to do what God has for me to do. It's frightening at times when I think I would have to let people go, especially a certain few. I know I can trust Him, it's just needing to work on my non-trust? I realize this is why I'm still where I am, I'm wanting to move forward yet scared about what the next step may bring but more than anything what i would leave behind me in that step. I want to grow, and grow strong, but what good is strength if there's too much fear to use it to its full potential? I'd be causing dystrophy within myself.
Where am I going with this post? I'm not quite sure yet. I guess I'm just in a rambling mood of sorts but please bare with me if you can.
To sacrifice to God is open yourself for something greater than what you already are, and what you already have. To do so is taking a step forward toward Him and leaving everything else behind. You can't take it with you when you leave, why must we carry them with us then? Why must I cling to them instead of clinging to Him?
Lord, as I go out today, I pray you'll shake up my world so that if nothing else I will learn to hang on to you. Show me the direction to run and give me a fire beneath my feet so I do not waver. So be it.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Lost Puppies
So, yesterday I'd broken my fasting, mostly because I was feeling week and tired. Through our reading, mom and I discovered that due to current diet trends, fasting was near impossible until you go near two weeks eating nothing but fruits and vegetables. I've also noticed my will power was starting to drain faster whenever the smells of food were around. Crazy how the body works huh? Well, we're going to try and change our diets soon and then maybe after a time I'll try again.
Outside of the food I've felt a bit of a failure, during the days I was able to fast, I wasn't focused where I was wanting to be. Putting off what I needed to do with what I wanted to do; but those things always led to boredom. I guess I need to do fasting of a different nature for a while before I can start getting where I'm going.
Before it got dark here in Houston, I went out for a jog/walk with my family's dog Damashki (Robert named him =P) and we came across a small pup wondering the intersecting street. I tried to get it, but anytime it got too close it started picking a fight with my dog and so I figured I would take Damashki back home and go after the pup. I took some treats with me and a lease and set out to where I'd last seen it and lo and behold it was still there marking territory every five feet. On approach, it treated me the same as when I had the other dog with me, and giving it treats did help but not enough for me to get to his collar. I chased it down three miles of streets and back streets, then another half mile after it crossed a major intersection and during all this time it started to drizzle, then got heavier every other minute. On my last approach I walked before him and stood in his path, he went across the street and tried to get around me to get back on it's patterned path before darting to the other end of the street and across a four lane road by a busy intersection.
As much as I was worried about the puppy and the owners that had lost it, I was too tired to go chasing after him. As the rain came pouring down, I gave up and started my way home. The center of the storm was only two and a half miles out, but it rained the rest of the night after I came in soaking wet. Now that I look back at it, I wonder if this is how we are before we come to Christ. He goes out looking for us with great intention, and we want to run away because we're having too much fun until we run so far that we think we lose Him completely and are free for it, only to eventually find out that we're on our own, in the cold, damp night with no one to watch over us.
I have heard of people saying that the spirit had left them and they can't feel God's presence any longer, and I wonder how true that could be. I guess I hold too much to the prodigal son view where all we have to do is turn around and run to him and after admitting the sins we had and giving our lives over to Him we'll be saved. I prayed for that pup last night as I walked onto my street, it was darkening faster with every ten minutes and just a few moments ago I got a call from a friend saying how she had found a dog on the streets on her way to the bank. Sadly, it wasn't the one I'd chased, but it makes me think again. The lost dogs will eventually be found, we can only hope the lost can be found by the right people.
I'm glad I'm found, and that those that I care most about are also found, but there are still lost people that I need to pray for. May the Father help me in my ministry and show me the way he wants me to win people over to him.
On unrelated news, I have a new article job for Ten3 missions. I'm excited, mostly because it's interview three people this time instead of just one. It will be due on the 13th and will be out in the next newsletter I believe. Pray that I will get the assignment finished with what needs to be said. This is only my second assignment and I'm already flying solo; I don't know whether to be excited or scared out of my wits. Thankfully, I got a lot of wit.
Outside of the food I've felt a bit of a failure, during the days I was able to fast, I wasn't focused where I was wanting to be. Putting off what I needed to do with what I wanted to do; but those things always led to boredom. I guess I need to do fasting of a different nature for a while before I can start getting where I'm going.
Before it got dark here in Houston, I went out for a jog/walk with my family's dog Damashki (Robert named him =P) and we came across a small pup wondering the intersecting street. I tried to get it, but anytime it got too close it started picking a fight with my dog and so I figured I would take Damashki back home and go after the pup. I took some treats with me and a lease and set out to where I'd last seen it and lo and behold it was still there marking territory every five feet. On approach, it treated me the same as when I had the other dog with me, and giving it treats did help but not enough for me to get to his collar. I chased it down three miles of streets and back streets, then another half mile after it crossed a major intersection and during all this time it started to drizzle, then got heavier every other minute. On my last approach I walked before him and stood in his path, he went across the street and tried to get around me to get back on it's patterned path before darting to the other end of the street and across a four lane road by a busy intersection.
As much as I was worried about the puppy and the owners that had lost it, I was too tired to go chasing after him. As the rain came pouring down, I gave up and started my way home. The center of the storm was only two and a half miles out, but it rained the rest of the night after I came in soaking wet. Now that I look back at it, I wonder if this is how we are before we come to Christ. He goes out looking for us with great intention, and we want to run away because we're having too much fun until we run so far that we think we lose Him completely and are free for it, only to eventually find out that we're on our own, in the cold, damp night with no one to watch over us.
I have heard of people saying that the spirit had left them and they can't feel God's presence any longer, and I wonder how true that could be. I guess I hold too much to the prodigal son view where all we have to do is turn around and run to him and after admitting the sins we had and giving our lives over to Him we'll be saved. I prayed for that pup last night as I walked onto my street, it was darkening faster with every ten minutes and just a few moments ago I got a call from a friend saying how she had found a dog on the streets on her way to the bank. Sadly, it wasn't the one I'd chased, but it makes me think again. The lost dogs will eventually be found, we can only hope the lost can be found by the right people.
I'm glad I'm found, and that those that I care most about are also found, but there are still lost people that I need to pray for. May the Father help me in my ministry and show me the way he wants me to win people over to him.
On unrelated news, I have a new article job for Ten3 missions. I'm excited, mostly because it's interview three people this time instead of just one. It will be due on the 13th and will be out in the next newsletter I believe. Pray that I will get the assignment finished with what needs to be said. This is only my second assignment and I'm already flying solo; I don't know whether to be excited or scared out of my wits. Thankfully, I got a lot of wit.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Starving for insight -- the fasting begins
Well, as I'd mentioned last post today's starting my fasting run. I pray that it will be more what I hope for; what do I hope for? For God to blow my mind :)
Last night I went to my church's Paradigm Bible study class where the leader spoke of the old and infamous argument of Faith vs. Works. Now granted I didn't dwell much on the issue prior to that night because well, I just never really gave it much thought. As Christians we're saved through our faith in Jesus Christ and we work to bring others to that grace right?
In James 2:14-26 he spoke of how well wishes won't cut it for Christians, what good is faith without action? We then turned to Romans 3:21-31 and it came to the agreement of with faith comes salvation, and works come about as a sigh of our faith. Though his main concern was whether or not that we had the right motivation when we perform these works (work without faith is dead {meaningless})
So if works are lower than faith, should we worry about the laws then? In Galatians 2, we read that we are "...not justified by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ... that we might be justified by faith in Christ, and not by the works of the law, because no flesh will be justified by the works of the law." Christ came to fulfill the law, and even moreso expanded it from what Moses received on the tablets. All things considered though, I consider following the laws and "works" in general to be two separate things so I'll leave the law alone for another time.
He then proceeded to go into a small story about the time he spoke with a young Catholic teen who had it figured that all he needed to do was ask for forgiveness and give hail Mary's on mass, and then he was free to do whatever he pleased. "But what if you'd died on a Friday?" he asked him, and the boy fell silent without an answer for a moment before coming up with something like "I would just hope I had enough time before the death to make my confessions."
After the story, he brought up Ephesians 2:8-9 which tells us that we are saved by grace and not by our works so that none should boast. It's a famous passage that most Christians have heard at least twenty times in their walk, but sadly most leave it just verse 9 even though the paragraph ends at 10 which reads as follows with the two prior verses:
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." -Eph 2:10 KJV
So, end the end, there really is no argument of faith verses works. Those three small sentences in Ephesians puts it all to bed right then and there. We were created to do great works by God, but we are saved by grace through havign faith in Christ.
So then, what sort of work are we set to do then? Well, he finished off the night with that answer. 2 Corinthians 5: 18-21 gives us two jobs — the ministry of reconciliation, and ambassadors for Christ.
That has left me with a question of where's my ministry? As of late the only thing I can constitute as ministry is my article writing for Ten3 missions. Though I know better than to just limit there, I cannot say that my actions of late have been the best kind of ministry that I can do. So the prayer for today, that God will open my mind and heart for what He'll plan to show me and teach me in upcoming fasting period, and that I'll have the will power to stay on track. My mother found an interesting read on fasting and so sometime this week I plan to look into that, along with my Doulos book from last fall.
If anyone here wants to talk about this topic, feel free to start a conversation in the comments. I'd be more than happy to share opinions as it is good sharpen each other.
I ask that you, the reader, will say a prayer or two for me as I take my steps this month. If for any reason you need prayer, feel free to send me a message either here, facebook or my email. God bless, and may He watch over us this week.
~ John
Last night I went to my church's Paradigm Bible study class where the leader spoke of the old and infamous argument of Faith vs. Works. Now granted I didn't dwell much on the issue prior to that night because well, I just never really gave it much thought. As Christians we're saved through our faith in Jesus Christ and we work to bring others to that grace right?
In James 2:14-26 he spoke of how well wishes won't cut it for Christians, what good is faith without action? We then turned to Romans 3:21-31 and it came to the agreement of with faith comes salvation, and works come about as a sigh of our faith. Though his main concern was whether or not that we had the right motivation when we perform these works (work without faith is dead {meaningless})
So if works are lower than faith, should we worry about the laws then? In Galatians 2, we read that we are "...not justified by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ... that we might be justified by faith in Christ, and not by the works of the law, because no flesh will be justified by the works of the law." Christ came to fulfill the law, and even moreso expanded it from what Moses received on the tablets. All things considered though, I consider following the laws and "works" in general to be two separate things so I'll leave the law alone for another time.
He then proceeded to go into a small story about the time he spoke with a young Catholic teen who had it figured that all he needed to do was ask for forgiveness and give hail Mary's on mass, and then he was free to do whatever he pleased. "But what if you'd died on a Friday?" he asked him, and the boy fell silent without an answer for a moment before coming up with something like "I would just hope I had enough time before the death to make my confessions."
After the story, he brought up Ephesians 2:8-9 which tells us that we are saved by grace and not by our works so that none should boast. It's a famous passage that most Christians have heard at least twenty times in their walk, but sadly most leave it just verse 9 even though the paragraph ends at 10 which reads as follows with the two prior verses:
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." -Eph 2:10 KJV
So, end the end, there really is no argument of faith verses works. Those three small sentences in Ephesians puts it all to bed right then and there. We were created to do great works by God, but we are saved by grace through havign faith in Christ.
So then, what sort of work are we set to do then? Well, he finished off the night with that answer. 2 Corinthians 5: 18-21 gives us two jobs — the ministry of reconciliation, and ambassadors for Christ.
That has left me with a question of where's my ministry? As of late the only thing I can constitute as ministry is my article writing for Ten3 missions. Though I know better than to just limit there, I cannot say that my actions of late have been the best kind of ministry that I can do. So the prayer for today, that God will open my mind and heart for what He'll plan to show me and teach me in upcoming fasting period, and that I'll have the will power to stay on track. My mother found an interesting read on fasting and so sometime this week I plan to look into that, along with my Doulos book from last fall.
If anyone here wants to talk about this topic, feel free to start a conversation in the comments. I'd be more than happy to share opinions as it is good sharpen each other.
I ask that you, the reader, will say a prayer or two for me as I take my steps this month. If for any reason you need prayer, feel free to send me a message either here, facebook or my email. God bless, and may He watch over us this week.
~ John
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Years
Greetings one and all and Happy New Years!
My name is John, and I'd like to welcome you on a journey with me through this upcoming year. There will me laughter, tears, poems and song (okay, more poems than songs because those are rare).
Some may be asking about the title of this blog and here's where I came up with it. For Christmas my parents gave me an audio book called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snow Day by Mark Batterson. I'm only on chapter six right now but it's been such a wonderful book with some common sense that isn't all that common in American Christianity as of late. I've realized that I need to be more courageous and that I need to step up and start chasing the lions that come up in my life in order to give God the glory he deserves.
Since I've graduated from college and moved down here, my spiritual walk with God has improved but I know there is much more that I can be doing. I want to run, not walk. So, to start things off, I decided to start this blog as a way to help me keep track of my progress in my spiritual walk and life. I ask that you'll walk with me to help me stay on track with your prayers and the occasion bonk to the head with a couch cushion (or pillow if you'd prefer that, most do). The next thing I've decided to do is take a week and a half to two week fast. This is for several reasons: 1. To help myself get closer to Christ. 2. A goal of mine is to reach 160 lbs and I'm currently 16 lbs over that. This will be started on Monday.
In a show called Fullmetal Alchemist, there's a mantra of in order to train the mind you must also train the body. How true that statement is, but I've felt it also applies spiritually, for as our bodies are but temples, so we must keep them in order. It just makes sense.
I hope that in one way or another, you may find this log an encouragement to your life. Let us go out in search for lions.
~ John
My name is John, and I'd like to welcome you on a journey with me through this upcoming year. There will me laughter, tears, poems and song (okay, more poems than songs because those are rare).
Some may be asking about the title of this blog and here's where I came up with it. For Christmas my parents gave me an audio book called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snow Day by Mark Batterson. I'm only on chapter six right now but it's been such a wonderful book with some common sense that isn't all that common in American Christianity as of late. I've realized that I need to be more courageous and that I need to step up and start chasing the lions that come up in my life in order to give God the glory he deserves.
Since I've graduated from college and moved down here, my spiritual walk with God has improved but I know there is much more that I can be doing. I want to run, not walk. So, to start things off, I decided to start this blog as a way to help me keep track of my progress in my spiritual walk and life. I ask that you'll walk with me to help me stay on track with your prayers and the occasion bonk to the head with a couch cushion (or pillow if you'd prefer that, most do). The next thing I've decided to do is take a week and a half to two week fast. This is for several reasons: 1. To help myself get closer to Christ. 2. A goal of mine is to reach 160 lbs and I'm currently 16 lbs over that. This will be started on Monday.
In a show called Fullmetal Alchemist, there's a mantra of in order to train the mind you must also train the body. How true that statement is, but I've felt it also applies spiritually, for as our bodies are but temples, so we must keep them in order. It just makes sense.
I hope that in one way or another, you may find this log an encouragement to your life. Let us go out in search for lions.
~ John
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