There is no such thing as retreat when one turns to prayer to those that truly know the power of prayer.
This past weekend was my church's trip to Trinity Pines and as I mentioned in one of my status' on facebook, wow. Though the evening we got there was a bit unnerving (the speakers were waaay too loud for such a small amount of space), I did feel His presence there throughout the time I'd spent there -- enough to be pulled away into hiding for a personal time with him deep into the trees of the prayer and much needed silence to listen. Things have changed from there and it may come to a surprise to some, an amen to others, but I looking forward to how these will play out in the long run.
The core message of the retreat was Impact, and how we as Christians need to focus on having a deeper impact in the lives around us to further the kingdom. As I don't have all my notes on me right now I can't give a recap of what all we went over so I'm sorry for that but they will be posted later. On the last day we talked a lot about prayer, it's power, what hinders us, what hinders our prayers, and of course, why some go unanswered. I must admit it was rather strange not having my laptop with me to take notes, but having it with me would've been a bit cumbersome on several levels, though I did wish to do some work. *Shrugs* ah well.
I have to say, there was something I'd gotten out of it that I wasn't quite expecting, the feel for a need of a mentor. Thankfully, I felt led to one in particular and he agreed. Though the gains run quicker, I can only pray on these things I lay here. I still need improvement, I still needed to walk in boldness or what good am I as someone called to a ministry of reconciliation? What role am I being called to take up I'm still praying and searching for, but yesterday seemed to be a good point in direction.
Cluade is the CEO of Ten3 missions, and we've spoken to each other about my current involvement with Ten3 as a writer for the communications department which has gone a bit dormant and of my future with them, whether it would be with communications, technology, or somewhere else. After showing him my artwork, literary work and a brief background he brought up the idea of working with the media department. Claude is a producer, which I felt built some common ground for the both of us to understand each other easier and it did. It's not official, but I told him I would serve Ten3 in that function. If you guys can pray on this I'd be most appreciative.
After a bit of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that I need to unplug myself for a time. Being said I've decided to cut out instant messenger, IRC and facebook for about a week though I will get on facebook if there are matters for the upcoming wedding to attend to. Some may find it to be a form of running away and I guess in a sense it is, though that's not how I saw it when the idea came to mind. There's a lot going on on this end and while I can't talk about all of it right now, I will say that I'm dealing with them as best as I can. I have been broken, worn down and defeated. I do not intend to build thicker walls but try to build a better foundation, though walls may appear as a result.
Above all else, I need silence and to be silent... and patient. I hope you'll understand.
With this finished and posted I'll be turning my computers and electronics off. I'm not sure what's to come of this and I dare not assume, but we shall see what happens when it does happen.
Farewell, see you after the blackout.
John
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Walk with me, Walks with Him
Walk with me, walk with Him
A few days ago I went on a walk around town for eight miles, mostly to get some fresh air, but more so for some alone time with God. I'd been in Plainview for a week then searching for work there and in the surrounding areas as far as Lubbock without much success. The jobs that I've been able to apply for have since either rejected me, or have yet to contact me and I've run out of time for waiting. I'll be driving back to Houston 4am Saturday and too be honest the thought of leaving this place again has me a bit sick. This place has become my home and the people here family and it hurts to leave.
Father, where is it that you wish for me to go?
I know that eventually families will split to form new families, and that eventually we move out of our old homes to build new ones, but even after a year I still can't shake the feeling of longing for here. Pulls to certain people, partially out of the deepness our friendships have gotten and partially out of fear of losing that connection.
Father, to what vocation do you call me to?
The best part of this little trip was being around those I love and the one that inspires me. I feel rejuvenated to write again, which is good because I've learned that the first portion of one of my stories got deleted -- whoops. It's one of my prayers that these stories will become something more than just a text file on my computers and be an instrument for spreading hope and faith in Christ, even if in a C. S. Lewis manner.
Speaking of writing, I've decided to take some advice and talk to the CEO of Ten3 to see if there's something I can do to help with their missions and goals. With my past supervisor off the radar I've been a bit antsy to do something and until recently just needed the push to get a step forward taken. I can't wait to see where God will lead me in this, and I ask that those of you who read this will pray along with me on this.
Today feels like another day for walking, I'm not sure if I'll go the same route, but I know it will be in the same fashion, listening to God's words and continue praying. To pray for rain on a clear day, but its always raining somewhere.
May I see you in my walk, Father, and get in step to walk beside you.
~ J
-----Second Walk-----
I can't seem to grasp how I can take a totally different route and still end up walking the same distance... bizarre yet cool.
After the last walk I've come to a few conclusions
1. Discovering just how much my soul aches for more of God
2. how much my heart aches to seek what He has for me.
3. I still have a good ways to go in several areas of my life.
---------------------
Today is my last full day here in Plainview, and I have a sinking feeling that I won't be returning here for quite a bit of time. My hope to find a job to allow me to stay here for a little bit longer has failed and I'm starting to think that maybe God doesn't need me here anymore, which saddens me deeply but I know what He has planned for me would be so much greater than what I had in mind. I pray though that this doesn't mean that the friendships I've cultivated here and hold dear will not cease and that they'll continue to grow, but that's for Him to decided.
For those of Plainview and other portions of West Texas, I love you all and I shall continue to keep you in my prayers.
A few days ago I went on a walk around town for eight miles, mostly to get some fresh air, but more so for some alone time with God. I'd been in Plainview for a week then searching for work there and in the surrounding areas as far as Lubbock without much success. The jobs that I've been able to apply for have since either rejected me, or have yet to contact me and I've run out of time for waiting. I'll be driving back to Houston 4am Saturday and too be honest the thought of leaving this place again has me a bit sick. This place has become my home and the people here family and it hurts to leave.
Father, where is it that you wish for me to go?
I know that eventually families will split to form new families, and that eventually we move out of our old homes to build new ones, but even after a year I still can't shake the feeling of longing for here. Pulls to certain people, partially out of the deepness our friendships have gotten and partially out of fear of losing that connection.
Father, to what vocation do you call me to?
The best part of this little trip was being around those I love and the one that inspires me. I feel rejuvenated to write again, which is good because I've learned that the first portion of one of my stories got deleted -- whoops. It's one of my prayers that these stories will become something more than just a text file on my computers and be an instrument for spreading hope and faith in Christ, even if in a C. S. Lewis manner.
Speaking of writing, I've decided to take some advice and talk to the CEO of Ten3 to see if there's something I can do to help with their missions and goals. With my past supervisor off the radar I've been a bit antsy to do something and until recently just needed the push to get a step forward taken. I can't wait to see where God will lead me in this, and I ask that those of you who read this will pray along with me on this.
Today feels like another day for walking, I'm not sure if I'll go the same route, but I know it will be in the same fashion, listening to God's words and continue praying. To pray for rain on a clear day, but its always raining somewhere.
May I see you in my walk, Father, and get in step to walk beside you.
~ J
-----Second Walk-----
I can't seem to grasp how I can take a totally different route and still end up walking the same distance... bizarre yet cool.
After the last walk I've come to a few conclusions
1. Discovering just how much my soul aches for more of God
2. how much my heart aches to seek what He has for me.
3. I still have a good ways to go in several areas of my life.
---------------------
Today is my last full day here in Plainview, and I have a sinking feeling that I won't be returning here for quite a bit of time. My hope to find a job to allow me to stay here for a little bit longer has failed and I'm starting to think that maybe God doesn't need me here anymore, which saddens me deeply but I know what He has planned for me would be so much greater than what I had in mind. I pray though that this doesn't mean that the friendships I've cultivated here and hold dear will not cease and that they'll continue to grow, but that's for Him to decided.
For those of Plainview and other portions of West Texas, I love you all and I shall continue to keep you in my prayers.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
His name is - the mini series
My heart feels at peace since I've stepped out of my car and into Plainview last Monday. It leap and cried when it found the family that I left behind what seems decades ago. And yet yesterday and today my heart cried and my lyrics flowed.
I've had two friends, who I've become a close confidant and ear to, tell me me how they were in pain after their hearts were torn by what was thought of love and the breaking up of that love. I broke for them as I've known that pain well and wish it on no one. I wrote two poems, one for each to help them in their hardship. His name is Love to remind one that there is a love that surpasses all others, and His name is Light to remind the other why we go through hard times. Christianity, a relationship with Christ, only saves us from the hardship of eternity without the Father; it does not however guarantee us that we will no longer have hardships after we accept him. Rather, it is the opposite, it is painting a sign on ourselves and telling Satan to give us his best shots, because we have spiritually won through Christ's sacrifice and that through Jesus' sacrifice, Satan's power is forfeit. Satan will try all he can to discourage us, and we soon come to find out that he's accurate with his arrows.
A simple truth from the two poems and the possible poems to follow.
God's love is unequal to any love we will find here on earth.
We have light, because Christ is the light of the world
We have worth, because we are the children of God
*We are at our strongest, when we're weakest.
*He is our sword and shield
Today, after I'd posted the second poem, I asked myself a question: Why is it that pain and brokenness are such wonderful inspirations for artistic mediums?
What do you think?
I've had two friends, who I've become a close confidant and ear to, tell me me how they were in pain after their hearts were torn by what was thought of love and the breaking up of that love. I broke for them as I've known that pain well and wish it on no one. I wrote two poems, one for each to help them in their hardship. His name is Love to remind one that there is a love that surpasses all others, and His name is Light to remind the other why we go through hard times. Christianity, a relationship with Christ, only saves us from the hardship of eternity without the Father; it does not however guarantee us that we will no longer have hardships after we accept him. Rather, it is the opposite, it is painting a sign on ourselves and telling Satan to give us his best shots, because we have spiritually won through Christ's sacrifice and that through Jesus' sacrifice, Satan's power is forfeit. Satan will try all he can to discourage us, and we soon come to find out that he's accurate with his arrows.
A simple truth from the two poems and the possible poems to follow.
God's love is unequal to any love we will find here on earth.
We have light, because Christ is the light of the world
We have worth, because we are the children of God
*We are at our strongest, when we're weakest.
*He is our sword and shield
Today, after I'd posted the second poem, I asked myself a question: Why is it that pain and brokenness are such wonderful inspirations for artistic mediums?
What do you think?
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